Oreos for breakfast

I’m a really bad example at times haha! But I’m an adult!! It’ll come back to bite me by lunch time- no worries! I state two minutes after noon. This is where we all eye roll.

I have mixed feelings about my audition results. As well as kind of hurt feelings. I anticipated to get party guest to no role at all. Well I may or may not be a party guest or possibly even a maid. But I got the Russian group, that I didn’t even audition for.

My Teacher was honest with me and she knows my weakness and I know my weaknesses so we didn’t have to discuss it. Some how the word “stupid” arose in describing me by another Judges when I attempt to dance across the floor. I know I have adult issues where one over thinks steps, my mind moves faster than my body, and I get indescribably frustrated which causes me to halt further brain process and literally break down(and that’s just me). I wish those things didn’t happen and I want to be better at them- but it did happen during the audition. I did my best and I tried my hardest. SO now I’m going to take this Russian dance (the worst costume in the whole production) and I’m going to OWN IT! Thank god I still look like I’m 16/18 years old. I’ll at least not make parents worry why there’s an almost 30 y/o woman prancing around with 12 year olds.

What also sucks, is that I accidentally passed up a part I probably would’ve gotten… Arabian. BECAUSE MY KNEES KILL ME WHEN I DO THE POSE! My Teacher says my epaulment is beautiful. Previous Judge included, agreed that when I move my arms in adage I’m beautiful. So my teacher wants to choreograph me in the holiday performance (not the Nutcracker) for my adage and epaulment. there’s always next year right?

So I’m going to go off and sulk for a bit.

p.s. I think what bothers me most is whether or not I got a part(s) I could’ve dealt with that more easily. Hearing though someone’s opinion of me though from the judging is worse. They couldn’t be more eloquent? Then to have her invite me into her ballet class later that night and have her correct me at the barre. I can’t help but think now what she thinks of me every time she sees me and I see her. Yet in her advanced adult class that night my technique and sharpness and ability to correct my body without her touching me was very evident. I wasn’t as fast with their routine but I didn’t do my technique half assed like the majority of the class.

URGH… *bangsheadondesk* yea, back to that sulking…


4 thoughts on “Oreos for breakfast

  1. I am so sorry! Ballet teachers can be so MEAN, can’t they? I honestly think they do it to others because it was done to them. They are trained to be that way and don’t know any better. It doesn’t make it hurt any less when it happens to you, though.

    At least you got a part! I am sure you are going to rock the crap out of that Russian dance. Look – your teacher wants to incorporate your strengths in an upcoming show. That has got to feel good, right?

    I understand why you are sulking though. Go ahead girl. Sulk, eat some cake and drink some wine. That always makes me feel better.

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