It’s officially been over a week now since I’ve had my surgery. I’m very happy with modern day medicine, it makes recovery so much easier.
Wednesday early morning. I have to get up and shower in a special solution had hebicleanse. It’s a surgery soap. The worst part is, is that you have to stand in the shower- with it off and scrub up. Making sure to stay away from your bits. So you’re cold, and you’re sudsing up, and you’re trying to be cautions and in the back of your mind the anxiety of your impending surgery is looming. I was instructed to wear loose comfortable clothing to my surgery. So I wore some simple loose and comfortable yoga pants, from back in the day when yoga pants were wide legged and made of really super comfy fabric. Despite it being comfortable it was a little cold. We had a cold snap during that time so it was pretty chilly. Husband-san had picked up a pair of crutches for me and loaded up the car, including myself.
I had discussed with my Doctor and the Nurses of the hospital where I’d be having the surgery about my anxiety of IVs. I have no fear of needles, not bothered by being pricked. I have a phobia of having a needle stuck in me for an extended amount of time. I find it unnatural and it just appalls me. I had my wisdom teeth removed and I have serious anxiety from dentists, so I had been double dosed for my anxiety. I was in loopy ville and I have an audience to prove it. Talking about Pandas and talking to fish. So they got me into the chair and just as they were about to give me my IV, my heart rate accelerated and my brain kicked into survival mode and adrenaline was waking me out of my drugged stupor until they put a gas mask over me and I blacked out. SO, despite talking to my Doctor they figured that even trying to drug me beforehand wouldn’t do much other than make me drowsy. We arrived at the hospital and the check in. Easy enough to check in, didn’t even wait long for them to bring me into the surgery recovery area. The Nurse was very nice but very efficient. I had to get out of my clothes and get into that wonderful butt showing gown. Except I was allowed to keep me undies on. Also these oh so fashionable socks that worked either way with no slip grips in green and white. Then I got into the hospital bed where the Nurse proceeded to lay out this fold out inflatable blanket, that hooked up to an air intake that output warm air into the inflatable blanket. To keep me toasty. They also laid over me a blanket that had been in a warmer. I wish there was a sheet warmer at my house. I’d most certainly never get out of bed unless to get another blanket. While the Nurse was doing all this she asked me if I stumbled or if I was clumsy. I just kind of looked at her incredulously. She said she needed to know so that in case she needed to change my socks to yellow. So I’m tucked in nicely with my inflatable blanket and the sun is beginning to rise right outside my window. Then Nurse decided to lay all these instruments across my legs. She managed to mumble something and walked out of the room. Then Husband-san was like “I’m surprised you’re taking it so easy after she said she was going to put your IV in.” So then I decided to freak out. She came back and then I asked about if she was going to put the IV in and she said confirmed to which I said I have a horrible anxiety concerning IVs and I had told almost everyone I could beforehand about it. She left the room and spoke with the anesthesiologist and came back with a small pill. I tried to dissolve it in my mouth but it turned out to be near impossible since I haven’t had any liquids for the last 5 hours. A few minutes later still not feeling any affect of the pill.
So the Anesthesiologist pops in and I’m floored. Like his face is sparkling, like I feel I should know him from some mid day sappy soap opera. He was TOO HANDSOME. He was the CLICHE OF CLICHES. He wasn’t my cup o tea, but I respect a persons genetic advantage. Guy was blinding me with his unusual-ness. I tell him about my anxiety and He’s kind enough to listen yet feels that what I’m asking for (to be knocked out before an IV is even in place) but says that’s only reserved for children usually. In my brain I go “yes, that’s why I need it, my brain will revert into a childlike state in .0 seconds.” So he decides to start putting my IV in and I just remember going limp, with him taking my right arm, He tries to distract me with conversation but my anxiety is beginning to take over. The Surgery Nurse pops in to introduce herself which Handsome Anesthesiologist decides to take advantage of this and have her talk to me on my left side. I already turned away from him and was beginning to hyperventilate and was staring off into space while tears began to stream down my face. While Surgery Nurse is trying to talk to me about being wheeled away and in the surgery room I’m miles away to the point she realizes I can’t hear a word she’s saying so she just decides to coach me about my breathing saying I’m taking deep breaths and doing good. Handsome Anesthesiologist gets the IV in and it doesn’t even hurt, he’s really gentle about it all, so that was positive, but like I said it was just the fact that I have a giant needle sticking out of me (okay it wasn’t that giant I think because of my size). He super secured it and quickly injected me with a sedative. Where I quickly just lulled. He left the room and talked with my Doctor who said I was still anxious- SO THEY GAVE ME MORE. Which sealed the deal and was out cold. Husband-san told me that during the whole ordeal Handsome Anesthesiologist and Surgery Nurse were nervously looking from me to Husband. We assume they were afraid Husband-san would get aggressive. While Husband-san didn’t like to see me in distress he knew they weren’t hurting me and that I wasn’t hurt. There’s just no point in him intervening.
So I woke up in the recovery room to my name. It was dark and there were other people with heart monitors on. Other Nurses were talking to their patients who had also gotten out of surgery. The first thing I did as I was blinking bleary eyed was to wiggle my toes. It was awkward and strange but it still moved. My leg was… not in pain. It felt really warm. I remember going back to sleep and waking up again with my foot wrapped in a “cryocuff”, it’s like a waterbed mattress in the shape of a booty that you fill with ice water. I had gone through two IV bags during surgery so I had to PEE. I was still bleary because I was super sedated, remember, I had a pill beforehand and two sedative injections. I also weight 110lbs and had nothing to eat since 10pm the day before and water at 12am. I was “intoxicated” with sedative. It was so hard to go the bathroom that the nurse who was with me just hooked her finger into my pants and undies and just pulls down. I just didn’t care because I was so drugged up and I had just gotten out of surgery and I had to PEE. So I did so and got out and they put me back into my recovery recliner and gave me another bag of fluids. They gave me more time to recover because I was a “light weight”. I wanted to sleep there all day really. I just wanted people to pull down my pants for me and set me down and get me back into bed to sleep honestly. Wasn’t so though. By the time I was ready to leave the second time I had to pee, I started to complain audibly about my IV in my hand. It was SO uncomfortable to have it in my hand while I used my crutches. They were afraid I was going to rip out my IV so they took it out asap. I think I remember right after I got out of recovery I asked for my iPhone to check things but I was still too sleepy so I took a photo of my IV… what’s wrong with me?
They had tied a bandage around my hand to cover the IV. I handed it to my Husband-san who stuffed it into his pocket. I still have it… I was happily wheeled away in a wheelchair to our car and was stuffed into the back seat where I slept on the way home. Get home and pile myself into the downstairs bedroom and put my foot up and call it a day.