Spring has sprung uncharacteristically early here in Seattle. Yesterday it was in the upper 60s and that was just… preposterous. Disgusting weather for March. Should be stormy, wet, cool and overcast. What is this abomination of green sprigs, sing song birds chirping away, and sunlight. HISSSssssSSsSssSss…
I digress… I spent the entire winter going through surgery and recovery. Now I’m ready and officially by medical experts, to go back to class. Next Thursday will be the last time I see my surgeon concerning this surgery. I had my last PT on Thursday, it was sad to part ways but c’est la vie. I took this photo afterwords, you can see my right foot is irritated and a little swollen.
It’s now up to me to stretch, restrengthen, and visit as many classes as possible. I can be en pointe, do some ecchappes, bourres, mostly things on two feet. I tried doing a turn en pointe the other day and that was a fail. It’s still too tender on the inside to support all of ones’ weight. I have been back to class, but it’s a class with little artistic integrity. I’m nearly put into tears as we rarely if ever listen to any classical music, adagio is not an adagio, and there is a serious lack of correction. It’s just to get my back to class, start working my body and all that good jazz before I go back to real demanding classes. I’m dying to go to the PNB. First though I’d like to be able to plie. While I can, it’s still very restricted, so I’ll be working on that a lot.
What else? My foot, my scar, my surgery all memories now. What a struggle it was the first month. Showers and baths were lame. So much easier to stand, but to stand with out your foot swelling, or pain when weight is applied, even better! My scar is nothing I’m ashamed of. I don’t think it’s particularly pretty, I don’t think it’s ugly. It’s just “matter of fact”. It reminds me of a hibiscus stamen(how I remembered the term stamen is amazing but now I’ll forever forget). I’ve gotten one interesting double take at a shoe store so far, but I didn’t feel offended. People can think whatever, don’t care. The only complexity I find when I tell people I’ve had ankle surgery is comprehension of spare bones in the body. Also if I just generally say ” I had surgery” they think the worst. Like I had some life changing diagnosis. Much easier to say ” I had an elective surgery to remove unnecessary bones causing me pain”. They still don’t understand how the pain works but I have not yet figured a way to translate for people to understand the pain and sensation of a bone grinding between your joints. If you don’t have this congenital defect or haven’t agitated it, there’s no real way to understand. I’m happy to share but once people start listening to me they check out because they can’t relate. So that’s frustrating… I guess being an anatomical/medical nerd isn’t helpful. I still have numbness but gradually as time progresses it becomes less so. Not as annoying as when I first noticed it. Certain shoes rub at the scar/numb area and cause sporadic pain to shoot around my foot and toes. I have elected to not wear those shoes yet. I still make time to poke, touch, annoy, and prickle my numb/scar spot to a) wake it up and b) not get sensation shock when feeling does come back. My PT told me stories of people who didn’t prep themselves and it was so overwhelming to go back to shoes they once felt comfortable in. Or to just rub it when your other foot how bizarre and uncomfortable it became. Creates a psychosis. I’m on top of it, my mental thinking is that the more I fidget with it the more it’ll be normal. While I’m not unnecessarily rough, I’m not unnecessarily kind either.
The one thing I’ve walked away with so far after all this, is how strong my muscle is for my right extension. Before surgery I could do with a lot of effort a little more than a 90°. Now, I can easily developpé past 90° and hold for an extended period of time. My left side is way weaker as standing on the surgical foot is not as strong especially with my numbness. I’ll work on it though of course 🙂
Lately, I’ve also been wanting to wear fashion shoes more than my orthotic sneakers. My feet appreciate the high arches of heels. It’s also helping to restrengthen and build the muscles around my sesamoids as they had disintegrated during my recovery. Something seems to have switched in me that I want to wear heeled boots more often these days than my sneakers. I can’t say why yet… I have been on a shoe buying binge hurr hurr… Pretty shoes…
As for my splits and extensions, I’ve only got the small improvement to report lol. I’ll try to refocus. I’m waiting for a day where I’m not exhausted and it’s not windy out to dye some new skirts. As well as take photo shots soon for spring/summer pieces for my etsy store. So stay tuned!