Brain = system failure

Oooh, WordPress has updated the website. So fancy…

Regardless- still dancing! Can’t believe it’s been over a month since I last posted. I ended up purchasing another massage ball. Then swiftly found the earlier replacement hidden in the cracks of the couch. Go figure. At least I have one now for dance and one for travel.

I spent January dancing at an old studio with my Mentor. It was good to dance with her as she’s very meticulous and always yelling. My Saturday PNB class I get adjustments but then end up getting so excited/nervous she’s actually helping me that I flub and brain overload/dies. Saturday Teacher was not having it this morning. She seemed pretty disappointed with the class and I don’t blame her. It was kind of a mess… and she couldn’t get really mad at us like she can with pre-professionals. It’d be nice if she did lecture us so that maybe people would snap too a little more.

I was out of it today despite being awake sans coffee. I took up a job at one of our local libraries to make some quick and easy moolah. You guys, those people who put books back at libraries have a pretty mental job. Alphabetizing, numerically ordering, and memorization. I’m so happy to work at the smaller of the busier branches. I’d go crazy trying to put away books at the larger places. Anyways. The people who work there are wholly dedicated to the library. Like it’s their dream job. While I like the hours, the flexibility, and the pay aaaaand it’s not retail… it’s not my dream job. So I feel very conflicted working there. Everyone is very nice though, there’s just a lot of information to process and a lot of new things to memorize. So that plus new and more complex stuff during ballet class makes me a sad bumbling idiot of a dancer.

My Mentor is teaching farther up north. I should get back into that groove. But the stuff I’m learning at PNB has been so prime. Yet also the things my Mentor teaches me is awesome stuff too! I always find myself taking several steps back though when I work with my Mentor. Somehow my turns fall apart, my port de bras fall to the wayside. I’m just a literal mess. At the PNB I’ve been fumbling with regaining all my knowledge again that I worked hard to learn last summer. My balances were amazing, my turns were getting solid, my understanding was great! Now I’m slowly working back towards it and then the job thingy- brain! Keep with me… need brain supplements or something.

Here’s hoping next week will be better. Busier, but better. Maybe I won’t feel so overloaded with a new job and can start really concentrating on advancing my dance. I also find I need to focus. I got better when no one talked to me. Now people seem to freely talk to me often because they feel they know me from seeing me so often. You guys, I’m otherwise friendly! But leave me be to focusssssssss ;.; Do what I do! Talk to yourself out loud!

3 thoughts on “Brain = system failure

  1. Hopefully, you can get back to where you were last summer. I’m trying to get back in the groove, too, after sitting out for about six months.

    Must be great to be able to take classes at PNB. My Mentors back home are former PNB pros. Much of my ballet base, I owe to them. The new classes after the move are great, but I really miss their classes.

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