Week 1

First week has mixed reviews… I had three classes; one on Tuesday, Thursday night and Saturday morning. Squished in between working at the library, an engagement party, and a family bday party. I did some consistent stretching the first couple days and then the “red tide” arrived.

So I’ve been lacking a little because of general busyness. This morning I woke up with a really strained muscle in my neck. I can barely turn my head to the right with out severe pain and am massaging the heck out the taught neck muscle currently. I have a PT appointment later this afternoon that I’ll have to get ready for soon.

This week looks a little meek and self home stretching will be most of what I can do since I think I won’t be able to get any dance classes in; so it may seem. Today I know I should just rest, and I would go Thursday but my Brother surprised us and is coming into town. Saturday I have library things to do.

The week after that is the last week of classes at the PNB! I’ve found some possible replacement classes in North Seattle. They’re a little more expensive than the PNB too… I’ll contact them for a trial class to see how things pan out.

Haha… barre and stretching everyday… hahahaaaaaaaaaa

Also I’m still toying with the idea of a life chat! Maybe the end of the month. I should take pictures of a before and after stretching… Yessssssss…

It’s Time for Change

IT’S JUNE!!! It’s time to start a 30 day challenge!

My lack of classes, and lack of consistent training like I had two years ago is starting to show. My arabesque is HORRIBLE. My extension is HORRIBLE. My turn out is HORRIBLE. My core… could always be better. My flexibility is HORRIBLE.

So here I go. Stretching , at home barre , and core strengthening every day this month. Erryday! I’m thinking about doing a youtube live feed for FAQs while I stretch one Saturday or Sunday. Would anyone be interested? Comment to let me know!

Taken Out of Context

A post to help clarify. There was a post made for the Adult Ballerina Project made on September 30th 2015. It quoted me out of context. They assumed my quote from a post I made during my recovery was concerning something else.  “You’d think I’d be dying to go to dance. But I don’t. I want to be normal again most of all.” What I meant by this- was that I want to feel like a normal human being. When you go through surgery you feel excessively exhausted. Less than a human- so zombie like. I slept constantly, and was awake in the beginning every 20 min. with large lulls of sleeping. Later it grew to an hour of being conscious, still with long lulls of sleeping. I also wanted (and still do) my leg to feel whole again.

When you go through surgery like that, you cut through several nerves, and your body sometimes over reacts. My achilles has been a constant struggle, and the feeling in my heel is still very little. Some people may also be discouraged by the large scar that’s left behind. Luckily I’m very happy with my scar, but like I said. I still am a little irritated and working on the stiffness and inflexibility of my achilles.

My “normal-ness” did not mean to reference that I was no longer interested in being a dancer any more. That I wanted to go back into the fray, or the grayness that is the perceived average person. I could not give up dance. I do not seek to be anyone else, or anything less than myself. I am proud to say that I am an Adult Ballet Dancer.

Brain = system failure

Oooh, WordPress has updated the website. So fancy…

Regardless- still dancing! Can’t believe it’s been over a month since I last posted. I ended up purchasing another massage ball. Then swiftly found the earlier replacement hidden in the cracks of the couch. Go figure. At least I have one now for dance and one for travel.

I spent January dancing at an old studio with my Mentor. It was good to dance with her as she’s very meticulous and always yelling. My Saturday PNB class I get adjustments but then end up getting so excited/nervous she’s actually helping me that I flub and brain overload/dies. Saturday Teacher was not having it this morning. She seemed pretty disappointed with the class and I don’t blame her. It was kind of a mess… and she couldn’t get really mad at us like she can with pre-professionals. It’d be nice if she did lecture us so that maybe people would snap too a little more.

I was out of it today despite being awake sans coffee. I took up a job at one of our local libraries to make some quick and easy moolah. You guys, those people who put books back at libraries have a pretty mental job. Alphabetizing, numerically ordering, and memorization. I’m so happy to work at the smaller of the busier branches. I’d go crazy trying to put away books at the larger places. Anyways. The people who work there are wholly dedicated to the library. Like it’s their dream job. While I like the hours, the flexibility, and the pay aaaaand it’s not retail… it’s not my dream job. So I feel very conflicted working there. Everyone is very nice though, there’s just a lot of information to process and a lot of new things to memorize. So that plus new and more complex stuff during ballet class makes me a sad bumbling idiot of a dancer.

My Mentor is teaching farther up north. I should get back into that groove. But the stuff I’m learning at PNB has been so prime. Yet also the things my Mentor teaches me is awesome stuff too! I always find myself taking several steps back though when I work with my Mentor. Somehow my turns fall apart, my port de bras fall to the wayside. I’m just a literal mess. At the PNB I’ve been fumbling with regaining all my knowledge again that I worked hard to learn last summer. My balances were amazing, my turns were getting solid, my understanding was great! Now I’m slowly working back towards it and then the job thingy- brain! Keep with me… need brain supplements or something.

Here’s hoping next week will be better. Busier, but better. Maybe I won’t feel so overloaded with a new job and can start really concentrating on advancing my dance. I also find I need to focus. I got better when no one talked to me. Now people seem to freely talk to me often because they feel they know me from seeing me so often. You guys, I’m otherwise friendly! But leave me be to focusssssssss ;.; Do what I do! Talk to yourself out loud!

It’s been a while

I had my late honeymoon in end of October beginning of November. It was a beautiful, fast paced, and pavement pounding two weeks. Because of the time change I really got hammered. Not just because of sleep schedule, but eating schedule. It made me feel full and congested and irritated. My whole schedule was off and it was affecting my trip. Regardless, my Husband and I had a grand time. My Husband more so than me! Before we even got on the plane bound for home he went “I want to come back now.” I’m like – we haven’t even left!

Because I wasn’t in the best of moods there, and tired from walking and standing 12+ hours through out the day. I didn’t get to a lot of places I wanted to. I think it also didn’t help during that time I started fighting a viral or bacterial infection in one of my lymph nodes under my chin. I noticed the sensitivity on the flight to Japan but disregarded it for the trip. I think it also made me suffer exhaustion. I really wasn’t a happy camper. Which I feel bad about! I’m still dealing with the infection today. It doesn’t make me horribly sick, just a swollen neck at times. Which is good. I had a blood test and everything checks out ok (didn’t nearly faint this time!)

So anyways, I was only able to pop into the Repetto store in Ginza. Ginza is this FANCY shopping district. LV, Hermes, all the fancy name brands hang out in that area. Repetto not only sells pointe shoes but their designer leather shoes and bags. Their latest collection is amazing! Tres chic! I digress- The store is two stories with fashion shoes downstairs and pointe shoes upstairs. Their english was great! I could explain to her in complex terms in english that I needed a low profile shoe, 3/4 shank, and a narrow box. I tried three shoes, and came away with the Julieta. Which is described on their website as a “student” shoe. While some might think that’s a draw back, it’s actually really great. Especially someone like me who has a high arch and long toes. This allows me greater ease to get up on my platform with little effort. If I had a super hard helluva shank that was stiff through and through, I wouldn’t be able to easily roll up or be pulled back. It’s important to know how your foot works and in pointe shoes to get the right pair!

As I walked away after my fitting, I was surprised that the fitter bowed and thanked me! I was embarrassed because I was going to come back upstairs to purchase the shoes, just wanted to look downstairs. She caught me off guard and even brought the shoes downstairs so the girls there could check me out. I was a lot self conscious about my foot tattoo, but she didn’t make a comment or any surprised reaction. She dutifully helped me with my shoes. They also provided me knee high ballet tights to wear and had padding available too, but I brought me own. I did over pointe in one pair and wobbled forward, as one with bendy feet do- that was embarrassing! I was  a little flustered there to say the least! Stressed about how offensive I was being coming in with no socks, having a foot tattoo, and does she think I’m crazy or is she forgiving me because I’m a foreigner? Do I have bad manners and I don’t know it! So many crazy anxious thoughts…

The store was beautifully laid out. Wood flooring, mirrored walls with built in shelving. When you go up the stairs to the second floor the first thing you see on your right is a wall of cubbies filled with pointe shoes! The upper entrance if I remember correctly had red velvet curtains on either side of the door way. Limited warm up gear, dance bags, leotards and such was hung around the room. In the right corner after you get up from the stairs is another wall of cubbies full of pointe shoes, a ladder, a barre situated over an oval red carpet. A bench, and a mirror. It was so easy to try the shoes, and I was so nervous! The first pair I tried were far too large haha! That’s normally the case for me. Anyways, it was a great experience and I walked away happy and giddy. So much so forgot that we were going to look around more. But this was near the end of our trip and we were exhausted. I wish we didn’t have to run around everywhere. Next time we visit we’ll try and make it more relaxed.

 

So tonight I have dance with my mentor! I haven’t consistently danced since I got back from Japan. So I am WEAK and lame, and going to SUCK. So here I go!

I Want My Plié Back!

Two more classes before Summer course is over. UGH.

I’m happy and sad at the same time.

I’ve made some decent progress since returning to dance. My stamina is coming back, my muscle tone is returning, my turns are doing pretty great. Just working my little heart out to improve like everyone else is. That makes me all happy and sing song.

Then you mess up on a few things. Because you’re still not fully healed. And even though it’s been more or less 10 months since my surgery. My plié still needs to be coaxed with a lot of stretching, massage, and heat to get some function back. I still don’t have my plié to where it was. I can’t get my achilles unstuck yet! Like if I press my bent knee against the wall to see how far my big toe is from the wall, I get 2 inches. Left side has like 6 inches. YOU GUYS THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING. Last week I’ve been trying to do a tour assemble and I can’t land properly for two major reasons right now. I’m not spotting and my body is self protecting it’s tight achilles. I’ve been landing horribly!

UGH.

So I’m happy class will be over after next Saturday. I’m also glad to have the self induced pressure off myself. I will PROMISE myself to work hard in stretching every day of the break. Work on my strengthening exercises. Lets try and get my plie back!

Summer Dancing and Somber news

It feels like it’s been a whole month since I danced last. Actually, it’s been about 2 1/2 weeks. So… classes at the PNB start again today. I’ll be going for a regimen of Tuesday and Saturday time permitting. My body feels VERY out of shape, so I’m very excited to be going back. While I’ve not been in class, I pestered my friends who were in Vancouver, WA for the SunKing dance intensive. This year’s group was nearly 30. Last year was 40+. I envied everyone, but knew the reasons withholding me from it were best. Recovery still from my surgery and $$ It’s just so expensive to stay a whole week at a hotel, even split between someone, eat out at restaurants (no kitchenettes) and pay for the classes. I’m hoping next year to attend their “teacher” oriented one for those who are or are aspiring to be teachers. It’s located in Richmond, VA. So that’ll be a new place to tic off my list of places to visit.

In more somber news, I had a very sad 4th. The 3rd was concluded with having to put down my cat of 15 years. The cat my Husband and I have shared, nurtured, and loved since the beginning of our relationship. While it was the right thing to do for Him, it’s a very sore subject for us that pesters us persistently. Especially at home were we catch shadows and glimpses of him still in our life. We’re adamant about talking bout our feelings, no matter how absurd to each other and telling others openly as it seems to help ease our feelings. Fourth of July was very raw emotionally for us. We woke up with the memories of the previous evening still fresh and stinging in our minds. We canceled plans to visit friends and preoccupied our brains with a movie marathon all day and most of the night. Snuggled our dog to help him with his anxiety of the fireworks. Then called it a night with our remaining cat. While the wounds are still very deep, they don’t sting so badly. We’re taking our time with it all, and have no plans currently of adopting again until maybe after our trip to Japan.