Week 1

First week has mixed reviews… I had three classes; one on Tuesday, Thursday night and Saturday morning. Squished in between working at the library, an engagement party, and a family bday party. I did some consistent stretching the first couple days and then the “red tide” arrived.

So I’ve been lacking a little because of general busyness. This morning I woke up with a really strained muscle in my neck. I can barely turn my head to the right with out severe pain and am massaging the heck out the taught neck muscle currently. I have a PT appointment later this afternoon that I’ll have to get ready for soon.

This week looks a little meek and self home stretching will be most of what I can do since I think I won’t be able to get any dance classes in; so it may seem. Today I know I should just rest, and I would go Thursday but my Brother surprised us and is coming into town. Saturday I have library things to do.

The week after that is the last week of classes at the PNB! I’ve found some possible replacement classes in North Seattle. They’re a little more expensive than the PNB too… I’ll contact them for a trial class to see how things pan out.

Haha… barre and stretching everyday… hahahaaaaaaaaaa

Also I’m still toying with the idea of a life chat! Maybe the end of the month. I should take pictures of a before and after stretching… Yessssssss…

It’s Time for Change

IT’S JUNE!!! It’s time to start a 30 day challenge!

My lack of classes, and lack of consistent training like I had two years ago is starting to show. My arabesque is HORRIBLE. My extension is HORRIBLE. My turn out is HORRIBLE. My core… could always be better. My flexibility is HORRIBLE.

So here I go. Stretching , at home barre , and core strengthening every day this month. Erryday! I’m thinking about doing a youtube live feed for FAQs while I stretch one Saturday or Sunday. Would anyone be interested? Comment to let me know!

Taken Out of Context

A post to help clarify. There was a post made for the Adult Ballerina Project made on September 30th 2015. It quoted me out of context. They assumed my quote from a post I made during my recovery was concerning something else.  “You’d think I’d be dying to go to dance. But I don’t. I want to be normal again most of all.” What I meant by this- was that I want to feel like a normal human being. When you go through surgery you feel excessively exhausted. Less than a human- so zombie like. I slept constantly, and was awake in the beginning every 20 min. with large lulls of sleeping. Later it grew to an hour of being conscious, still with long lulls of sleeping. I also wanted (and still do) my leg to feel whole again.

When you go through surgery like that, you cut through several nerves, and your body sometimes over reacts. My achilles has been a constant struggle, and the feeling in my heel is still very little. Some people may also be discouraged by the large scar that’s left behind. Luckily I’m very happy with my scar, but like I said. I still am a little irritated and working on the stiffness and inflexibility of my achilles.

My “normal-ness” did not mean to reference that I was no longer interested in being a dancer any more. That I wanted to go back into the fray, or the grayness that is the perceived average person. I could not give up dance. I do not seek to be anyone else, or anything less than myself. I am proud to say that I am an Adult Ballet Dancer.

Is it May Yet?

NO! Thank God, I’d seriously be in trouble. It IS around the corner thought. I haven’t told you all, but my Husband and I decided after Japan that we should try and get one more big trip done before… before… before spawning small child things. Kids to me are a half “OMG what are you thinking; giving up sleeping in and freedom?!” and half “OMG a mini me with half my genetics – adorbs!” I know it will be worth it though, I see many of the wee ones in dance and at the Library and they spark a lot of enthusiasm in me. They are so energetic and very thirsty for knowledge. And when I teach them in dance, my heart sings when I see them take correction!!!

Anyways- yes… one last trip. EUROPE! We had to narrow down how we went to Europe. We’re hitting London for a few days, Spend 4 days in Austria, a weekend in Monaco, and wrap up the end of the trip with several days in France, where we might train back over to London… or Euro Disney. Don’t know which. Deciding how we feel after spending all that time in Europe.

As my luck would have it, there doesn’t seem to be a single time available to watch a ballet. Because it’s May, near the end of the season for most Companies, there’s little going on. I just… no luck! Not even when we land in NY! There will be ballets, but we wanted a classic piece to watch. So… yea. I’m kind of SOL on that ballet front. (The new Frankenstein ballet at the ROH is showing the day we leave, and Mayerling is starting the day we fly out to Monaco in Austria. UGH… UGH right?! Mayerling IN Austria…*kicksselfrepeatedly*) I’m not sure how I feel about taking classes in Europe. I’m more sensitive about my tattoo showing these days in foreign countries. While America is very accepting of it, I’m always self aware in other countries. Any recommendations while in Paris/Versailles or Vienna? I’m not even sure if I’ll make it out to a class because I’ll be so exhausted, but it’d also be an experience. Dance shops and other cool things I wanna know! Maybe I’ll go to a dance store in London and get me a pair of well fitted Freeds! Also Gaynor when I get to NY! *wavesgoodbyetomymoney*

On another note- I am sick. I’ve drawn out this bug combatting it but I seemed to have finally succumbed as I’m far more stuffy sounding, sneezing frequently, and blowing my nose often. Books are dirty things y’all. I’m defending myself with vitamins and zinc. Plenty of water, and trying to rest when I can. Tomorrow is ballet though… will I make it? I could just sit and watch class. What’s the fun in that(I mean it is, but not getting to do it is a little worse.)

Also, I’ll have you know I’m back in PT. My calf, achilles, and ankle were SO tight and so uncomfortable, and it was all janky to the point where everything isn’t working properly so you get this phantom pain that feels like a sprained ankle but it isn’t. Just contorted muscles. So I’m working on my PT again. Lots of clams, I again must learn to embrace thee. Single leg bridges too- guys that stuff is hard! My plie is still… getting there but it’s a little better. I want to think back in how I could’ve done things differently. And I’ve registered my mistakes- but there’s no turning back time y’know. Keep moving forward and fix what you can now. I’m not beyond help that’s for sure! It’s just a long and slow process made slower by my laziness. Let that be a lesson to the young and old! Keep at it like it’s life support until you are 99% better. Surgery recovery needs to be taken seriously if you want to be nearly what you once were!

Erreboddy. Thanks for continuing to read my blog! I’m sorry about sporadic updates. I’m still dancing! I’m still striving, but as an adult dancer things are difficult, amiright? Things bubble up in priority past Ballet, despite Ballet being that one thing that you actually really need in life. I hope it’ll change and it’ll be one of my biggest priorities again very, very soon.

Brain = system failure

Oooh, WordPress has updated the website. So fancy…

Regardless- still dancing! Can’t believe it’s been over a month since I last posted. I ended up purchasing another massage ball. Then swiftly found the earlier replacement hidden in the cracks of the couch. Go figure. At least I have one now for dance and one for travel.

I spent January dancing at an old studio with my Mentor. It was good to dance with her as she’s very meticulous and always yelling. My Saturday PNB class I get adjustments but then end up getting so excited/nervous she’s actually helping me that I flub and brain overload/dies. Saturday Teacher was not having it this morning. She seemed pretty disappointed with the class and I don’t blame her. It was kind of a mess… and she couldn’t get really mad at us like she can with pre-professionals. It’d be nice if she did lecture us so that maybe people would snap too a little more.

I was out of it today despite being awake sans coffee. I took up a job at one of our local libraries to make some quick and easy moolah. You guys, those people who put books back at libraries have a pretty mental job. Alphabetizing, numerically ordering, and memorization. I’m so happy to work at the smaller of the busier branches. I’d go crazy trying to put away books at the larger places. Anyways. The people who work there are wholly dedicated to the library. Like it’s their dream job. While I like the hours, the flexibility, and the pay aaaaand it’s not retail… it’s not my dream job. So I feel very conflicted working there. Everyone is very nice though, there’s just a lot of information to process and a lot of new things to memorize. So that plus new and more complex stuff during ballet class makes me a sad bumbling idiot of a dancer.

My Mentor is teaching farther up north. I should get back into that groove. But the stuff I’m learning at PNB has been so prime. Yet also the things my Mentor teaches me is awesome stuff too! I always find myself taking several steps back though when I work with my Mentor. Somehow my turns fall apart, my port de bras fall to the wayside. I’m just a literal mess. At the PNB I’ve been fumbling with regaining all my knowledge again that I worked hard to learn last summer. My balances were amazing, my turns were getting solid, my understanding was great! Now I’m slowly working back towards it and then the job thingy- brain! Keep with me… need brain supplements or something.

Here’s hoping next week will be better. Busier, but better. Maybe I won’t feel so overloaded with a new job and can start really concentrating on advancing my dance. I also find I need to focus. I got better when no one talked to me. Now people seem to freely talk to me often because they feel they know me from seeing me so often. You guys, I’m otherwise friendly! But leave me be to focusssssssss ;.; Do what I do! Talk to yourself out loud!

Cookie Crumbling

I never knew something so small would become so significant in my ballet life. The Foot Rubz massage ball has been a god send since after my surgery. It breaks up frozen stiff tissue under my foot as well as taught ligaments and tendons in my calf. It is extremely useful when traveling and you spend long hours walking everywhere in shoes that are less than ideal. Or shoes you’re trying to be fashionable in instead of practicle.

Well when we left Japan, I had given it to Husband to use the night before. So it’s usually a general understanding if you loan someone something or leave it in their possession they take responsibility of it. My Husband is a very sensible and responsible man, so I didn’t assume he’d forget it. Yet he did. No biggy! I say to myself when I return to class. I’m a little stiffer than usual and pliés become a struggle again. I’m sure class will sort it out. To my horror it just makes it more stiff! So I beg Husband to buy me a new one which he forgets to immediately and takes a week or so to do so. Which then it arrives promptly and I go back to using it for a week. To which it then disappears again! I don’t know where, but I saw it last at my old studio I was dancing at before break. I checked their lost and found when I returned from break but no dice. Ugh.

So again, I’ve been with out it. I can tell it’s SUPER tight under my foot and I’m not getting the plié I was getting before I left for break. FRUSTRATION. I have no idea where it went and I’m usually really good about not losing ballet stuff! So hopefully Husband will put in an order today. Maybe I should just make a discount dance order…

Has anyone else been turned off by the current stream of leotards offered by the big stores? Like… not only are some of them bizarre and weirdly flamboyant they’re down right expensive! A luxurious leotard used to be about $35 when I started 5-6 years ago. Now $35 is the standard for something with a little character. $40-100 is now normal for a high end leo! What the what?! Even my neighborhood dance store is selling old 80s leotards for $30 since they still have inventory! I ended up buying a pretty so-so yet far more interesting than a classic cami leo. It was $32. I don’t mind cami leos but I still like a little style . And when did Allaboutdance.com decide to only cater to the younger kids?


The cold also is bothering my surgical leg making me even more stuff. I also have to renew my license and my Husband has gotten me up earlier than I’m used to to try and make it to the DMV to get in and out with new photos and stuff. I just… been a Mrs. Grumpypants guys. Ughh… so disappointed in myself.

That is how things are going for me now- lol



So I had my first Mentor driven class in a long while. I. Am. Sore. My arches and calves are sore the most. I could barely keep my develope up. I found myself keeping my leg on the floor during certain leg extension exercises. I also still have my stuff ankle/achilles so I was limited a little.

I also had a mini emergency after class! My car was due for a water pump replacement but we were waiting for the car to let us know. That happened that night, which happened to be pouring rain. So I had to pull over and wait for my Husband to come over and we drove the car to the mechanics to get the work done with out having the engine over heat.

Then I got two tacos and a chocolate shake and plumped into a hot epsom salt bath.

Maybe it was just a bad idea to do two and a half hours of intense ballet when I haven’t really had that much work in a long time.

I’m really out of shape. The classes at the PNB seem to be inconsistent and work more my brain than my body. I’m also re-learning and taking more notes on how my Mentor teaches class. It’s one of those last opportunities to get as much info on how she teaches so that when I’m ready to teach on my own I’ll have some notes to remind me how I started and what worked and what maybe in the future I need to change.

I have class again tonight. Someone save me. Two hours. I’m also still hoping to go to class at PNB on Saturday.

Also there’s this strange misconception about me dancing at the PNB. Many of my family members, friends and acquaintances think I actually dance for the PNB. Nein mein friends and family!!! I take OPEN classes. I pay to be there and be taught. I do no performances with the PNB and I’m not on their payroll. Despite telling this to everyone they still just assume I’m a dancer there. Flattering but also a little embarrassing. I would never portray myself as a professional. It would be easier to just say “yes!” to it all, but I insist and inform everyone that while I dance ballet, and sometimes at the PNB, it’s not professionally.

Anyways- tomorrow I have a Nutcracker performance to watch with my Mentor. The Nutcracker that I danced in two years ago. I miss it now. I wish there were more studios around here I could dance with. We’ll see what happens.

It’s been a while

I had my late honeymoon in end of October beginning of November. It was a beautiful, fast paced, and pavement pounding two weeks. Because of the time change I really got hammered. Not just because of sleep schedule, but eating schedule. It made me feel full and congested and irritated. My whole schedule was off and it was affecting my trip. Regardless, my Husband and I had a grand time. My Husband more so than me! Before we even got on the plane bound for home he went “I want to come back now.” I’m like – we haven’t even left!

Because I wasn’t in the best of moods there, and tired from walking and standing 12+ hours through out the day. I didn’t get to a lot of places I wanted to. I think it also didn’t help during that time I started fighting a viral or bacterial infection in one of my lymph nodes under my chin. I noticed the sensitivity on the flight to Japan but disregarded it for the trip. I think it also made me suffer exhaustion. I really wasn’t a happy camper. Which I feel bad about! I’m still dealing with the infection today. It doesn’t make me horribly sick, just a swollen neck at times. Which is good. I had a blood test and everything checks out ok (didn’t nearly faint this time!)

So anyways, I was only able to pop into the Repetto store in Ginza. Ginza is this FANCY shopping district. LV, Hermes, all the fancy name brands hang out in that area. Repetto not only sells pointe shoes but their designer leather shoes and bags. Their latest collection is amazing! Tres chic! I digress- The store is two stories with fashion shoes downstairs and pointe shoes upstairs. Their english was great! I could explain to her in complex terms in english that I needed a low profile shoe, 3/4 shank, and a narrow box. I tried three shoes, and came away with the Julieta. Which is described on their website as a “student” shoe. While some might think that’s a draw back, it’s actually really great. Especially someone like me who has a high arch and long toes. This allows me greater ease to get up on my platform with little effort. If I had a super hard helluva shank that was stiff through and through, I wouldn’t be able to easily roll up or be pulled back. It’s important to know how your foot works and in pointe shoes to get the right pair!

As I walked away after my fitting, I was surprised that the fitter bowed and thanked me! I was embarrassed because I was going to come back upstairs to purchase the shoes, just wanted to look downstairs. She caught me off guard and even brought the shoes downstairs so the girls there could check me out. I was a lot self conscious about my foot tattoo, but she didn’t make a comment or any surprised reaction. She dutifully helped me with my shoes. They also provided me knee high ballet tights to wear and had padding available too, but I brought me own. I did over pointe in one pair and wobbled forward, as one with bendy feet do- that was embarrassing! I was  a little flustered there to say the least! Stressed about how offensive I was being coming in with no socks, having a foot tattoo, and does she think I’m crazy or is she forgiving me because I’m a foreigner? Do I have bad manners and I don’t know it! So many crazy anxious thoughts…

The store was beautifully laid out. Wood flooring, mirrored walls with built in shelving. When you go up the stairs to the second floor the first thing you see on your right is a wall of cubbies filled with pointe shoes! The upper entrance if I remember correctly had red velvet curtains on either side of the door way. Limited warm up gear, dance bags, leotards and such was hung around the room. In the right corner after you get up from the stairs is another wall of cubbies full of pointe shoes, a ladder, a barre situated over an oval red carpet. A bench, and a mirror. It was so easy to try the shoes, and I was so nervous! The first pair I tried were far too large haha! That’s normally the case for me. Anyways, it was a great experience and I walked away happy and giddy. So much so forgot that we were going to look around more. But this was near the end of our trip and we were exhausted. I wish we didn’t have to run around everywhere. Next time we visit we’ll try and make it more relaxed.


So tonight I have dance with my mentor! I haven’t consistently danced since I got back from Japan. So I am WEAK and lame, and going to SUCK. So here I go!

One of the favorites

While I have been attending class frequently. I should update you on progress… but I wanted to share something special.

This is Gavin. She’s a wonderful teacher I met through SKD. A lot of her narration really resonates with me. So I wanted to share it with you all. Also begin freaking out over her fabulous muscle control, and just pure beauty of her dance!

Beginning of the Year

Open Classes started last week here in Seattle. Saturdays are the worst, after class is finished teenagers come thronging in and the boys of course are super polite but the girls just come on through with their pointe shoes on and you worry you’re going to have your feet stamped on.

We had a three week break. I was able to get in two classes with my mentor though! That was lovely. Also for some reason I was more sore from my Mentor’s class than I am from PNB.

Saturday classes at the PNB are my favorite now. This teacher is very encouraging. Before we went on break she had us do a combination like normal than reverse it. I was able to do it, but I can tell all the work I need to do because I keep rolling up my hands like a weirdo because I’m thinking so hard.

The beginning class is very beginning right now. I feel bad for taking it but my achilles is still stiff. It’s getting better and better though. Still not 100% Can you guys believe it will be a year in November since my Os Trigonum surgery? Anyways… Tuesday class is full of fabulous new people, I hope they stick with it. I love watching them learn. Also, I can’t not take this class. My favorite pianist is playing it so I’m staying!

Right now I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I’ve got dance, I’m cramming as much of the japanese language into my brain, I have a lot of unfinished projects that I need to complete for sale, and am getting inquiries on dance skirts as well. It’s a little hard to juggle it currently. Not to complain, just feeling everything is coming all at once. I am angry with myself for not working harder over the summer when I knew my deadline would be up during this time. At least I’ve got what I want to take with me to Japan all planned out. I’m feeling really good and comfortable about all that at least.

It’s just tidying up before I leave. We just secured a house/pet sitter. I guess I should really just hunker down and get work done.

Well! You’ve all been pretty much updated on life currently. I will let you guys know I plan on checking out the Yumiko Leotard retail location in Japan as well as Repetto!! I’ll update you guys when I get more. Also you guys are hilarious about my last post. Thanks for making me laugh!

OH! Also last year when I was dancing at SKD I got to dance with a male dancer from the OBT who had also previously trained in SF. HE’S NOW A DANCER AT THE PNB!!!! I knew he was going places, he’s so wonderful! When summer classes started this year I could hear all the Nutcracker work going on. I was not excited to hear it personally lol. Little kids are now getting their assignments for Nutcracker. So it’s all hustle and bustle of kids and Nutcracker business at the PNB.